I went into hospital, with my mum my birth bag and full of fear!
I got put in this little room, where they strapped me up to a monitor i had a lovely young midwife look after me, she made me feel at ease. I got hooked up at 3pm. Me and my mum played cards, and ate biscuits, the monitor kept beeping but i didnt really understand what it meant. My midwife looked a little concerned. 'Do you want a stretch and sweep' she said, I didnt hesitate i wanted this baby out, Yes please! My mum left the room whilst she did it, People said the stretch and sweep was meant to hurt it felt uncomfortable but not painful. I was already 2cm dilated and felt nothing! She finished the sweep at 7pm. Then i got moved onto a little ward.
The ward was for people who were about to get induced or have a c-section i hadn't been told what was going on though. At 8pm i felt slight twinges.. i knew this was it. I thought id have hours yet i sat on the bed talking to my mum able to talk through themby 9-10pm they suddenly got a lot stronger, but still bearable i said to my new midwife that i thought i was in labour she smiled and walked away.
At 11pm i couldnt handle it anymore, i was in a ward still in agony the other women must have been so nervous because i was so scared. Every time i felt one coming i gripped my mums hands closed my eyes my mum told me to breathe i tried, but i couldnt help crying. 'Maybe a bath would help' The midwife said, they ran me a bath i didnt care if my mum saw me naked i didnt want to be alone. The bath didnt help, I was in their for 10 minutes and couldnt take it anymore.
At 12am i was still in the ward screaming in agony they were coming every 4 minutes now they hurt so much nothing could of prepared me for this. My midwife couldnt ignore me any longer, she checked to see how dilated i was 'Oh. your 6cm right we'll get you in the labour ward do you want gas and air' 'YES' i shouted. i ran to the labour ward sat on the bed and puffed on the gas and air, they left me and my mum in their.
At 1am i felt really funny, 'im gonna be sick' i puked water on the floor my mum ran to get a midwife and my waters broke. as soon as my waters broke i felt this overwhelming feeling to push.
my mums came in with a midwife 'MUM IM PUSHING IM PUSHING I CANT HELP IT' i remember shouting. It hurt so bad. 'Just go with the flo' said the new midwife she looked over at the machine almost alarmed i didnt take much notice as she walked out of the room.
Its pretty blurry after that, all i can remember is feeling really dizzy lots of doctors running in, peadiatricions waiting by the door with a baby bed. 'we need to get this baby out right now' i remember a doctor saying they gave me a episitomy (cut me) I thought it would really hurt but i didnt feel but cut at all! At 2.44am my beautiful silent baby girl was born.
She wasnt crying, the doctors looked scared my mum looked scared. I looked over one of the midwifes winked at me and smiled, she past her over to me 'is she okay' i whispered she was fine she was just asleep i smiled she looked so precious.
Me and my mum put bets on how much she'd weigh my mum said 6lb10 i said 6lb. boy were we in for a shock! Shes a tiny 4lb14! When i got on the ward she looked so dainty compared to the other babies i was almost scared id brake her!
When i looked at her face, i whispered 'Emma' to her. That was going to be her name she didnt deserve a stupid name, she deserved a beautiful tradional pretty name.
I was in hospital for a total of 5 days. Emma lost weight she went down to 4lb6 i was worried because i was trying to breastfeed but i couldnt i didnt know how to. i decided to breastfeed and top up with formula to get her to put on weight, After a week i gave up on breastfeeding i wish i hadnt given in so easily but i was exhausted.
She was such a good baby she'd only get up once during the night i held her all day kissing her face studying her lips and her eyes i never wanted to put her down.
The worst part about my labour was the afterbirth. My stitches got infected i could barely walk i was in agony for weeks. after 13 months they still hurt occasionally.
But Emma was worth all that pain.