Ever since Em was born ive co-slept it was easier when i was breastfeeding expecially with stitches as it hurt every time i moved, then when i stopped BF'ing she was really clingy and i never plucked up the courage to getting her into her moses basket/cot.
That is untill 2 weeks ago, i decided now shes 1 shes a big girl! She needs to go in a big girl cot! So ive being doing it for around 2 weeks now, shes doing well with getting into bed she goes to sleep pretty easily it only takes 30 minutes or so :)
Its in the middle of the night she usually wakes up at 1-2am for a couple of hours, and its exhausting shes not crying just winging and winging! And then she'll wake up at 6-7 so i get 4-5 hours sleep atm and im KNACKERED.
Sometimes i wish i had a boyfriend to help out but im proud of myself for doing it, and doing it on my own i still care for her during the day and now shes running around its abit of a handful but i love it.
And i hope she sleeps through soon!
my babies
x
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Loosing my confidence.
The past few weeks ive being really down, i have another court case next week over access with my daughters father which im dreading, its making me ill.
I went to my Auntie's 50th birthay party on Saturday with Emma, none of my family came and talked to me and their was a FIT guy their but he didnt even give me a second look.
I feel Ugly. And i dont know how to change that, im starting to look at myself in a whole different light, Maybe i need a nose job? Definatly boob job... Maybe liposuction on my legs.
After having Emma ive turned invisable and untill now i didnt realise, ive concentrated souly on my gorgeous Em but now shes toddling and kind of letting go ive suddenly realised.
How do single mothers get men again? How do they become visable again! No man is interested cause i dont go out every week, i dont even go out every month! I dont leave Emma because she is a part of me shes the most important thing in my life, maybe their isnt any more room to love anybody...
I went to my Auntie's 50th birthay party on Saturday with Emma, none of my family came and talked to me and their was a FIT guy their but he didnt even give me a second look.
I feel Ugly. And i dont know how to change that, im starting to look at myself in a whole different light, Maybe i need a nose job? Definatly boob job... Maybe liposuction on my legs.
After having Emma ive turned invisable and untill now i didnt realise, ive concentrated souly on my gorgeous Em but now shes toddling and kind of letting go ive suddenly realised.
How do single mothers get men again? How do they become visable again! No man is interested cause i dont go out every week, i dont even go out every month! I dont leave Emma because she is a part of me shes the most important thing in my life, maybe their isnt any more room to love anybody...
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
The exciting world of video blogging!
Very nervous but i thought that if i want my site to kick off then i need to lead by example!
http://youngmumssupport.webs.com/
We have Leah from underage and pregnant series 2 on their which may boost some fame! Its abit nerve racking though thankfully i had the light turned off so you can hardly see my face!
I just want my website to do well!
http://youngmumssupport.webs.com/
We have Leah from underage and pregnant series 2 on their which may boost some fame! Its abit nerve racking though thankfully i had the light turned off so you can hardly see my face!
I just want my website to do well!
Friday, 8 October 2010
14 months & Worries
Emmas 14 months now nearly 15 shes doing so well with walking, nearly running infact! Shes chatting away and i think shes finished with her teeth!
Im trying to make friends so ive started going to a mums and tots group, going their has made me realise how TINY Emma really is when she got up and started walking mothers gasped and said 'Shes advanced she must be what, 8 months?' I giggled and told them that infact she was a little slow and was 14 months, some 6 month old babies looked bigger then her! I have made 2ish friends, one lives in my village but im not sure she likes me, she drove me to the mums and tots last week and we chatted with another girly around my age but this week she said she couldnt come and hasnt text me much, which is a shame cause she was lovely. And the other girly around my age is lovely although her little boy is only 4 months so Emma doesnt have much fun when im their.
Now im walking as i promised myself i am looking for a job! Ive applied for LOADS and absolutly no response but im sure it takes more then 3 days to get back to someone about a job.. Im really worried about leaving Emma and i dont know whether to stick to a nursery or a childminder (please give me advice!) Shes so clingy at the baby group she won't venture off unless she holds my hand and drags me to play which is quite sad really, i want her to be a social butterfly bit at the same time im a bit glad that she still needs me!
Last Friday i went to the pride of Northamptonshire awards (With Ricky Groves) as the young leaders were nominated and WE WON! im very happy and we were in the evening telegraph on Thursday aswell!
Im really getting down about being single now, its being ages! In a way i want to be single because i hate that men can be controlling and im having real body confident issues at the moment aswell, ive put on one pound yes one measly pound which lands me at 7st1 and i felt like crying i looked at my stomach and felt disgusting. Deep down i know im NOT fat or disgusting and i dont know why i feel so bad, i am seriously looking into the macrolane injections though (injecting fat into breasts) Because no one will love me with the way i look now. I want another baby so much, i want a house and a family life, i want a man who can love and protect me but where am i meant to find one in this village? I hardly ever go out and when i do its with Emma and i look minging!
Emma is all i need for the moment and when i get a job ill be able to treat her, i just hope its sooner rather then later!
Im trying to make friends so ive started going to a mums and tots group, going their has made me realise how TINY Emma really is when she got up and started walking mothers gasped and said 'Shes advanced she must be what, 8 months?' I giggled and told them that infact she was a little slow and was 14 months, some 6 month old babies looked bigger then her! I have made 2ish friends, one lives in my village but im not sure she likes me, she drove me to the mums and tots last week and we chatted with another girly around my age but this week she said she couldnt come and hasnt text me much, which is a shame cause she was lovely. And the other girly around my age is lovely although her little boy is only 4 months so Emma doesnt have much fun when im their.
Now im walking as i promised myself i am looking for a job! Ive applied for LOADS and absolutly no response but im sure it takes more then 3 days to get back to someone about a job.. Im really worried about leaving Emma and i dont know whether to stick to a nursery or a childminder (please give me advice!) Shes so clingy at the baby group she won't venture off unless she holds my hand and drags me to play which is quite sad really, i want her to be a social butterfly bit at the same time im a bit glad that she still needs me!
Last Friday i went to the pride of Northamptonshire awards (With Ricky Groves) as the young leaders were nominated and WE WON! im very happy and we were in the evening telegraph on Thursday aswell!
Im really getting down about being single now, its being ages! In a way i want to be single because i hate that men can be controlling and im having real body confident issues at the moment aswell, ive put on one pound yes one measly pound which lands me at 7st1 and i felt like crying i looked at my stomach and felt disgusting. Deep down i know im NOT fat or disgusting and i dont know why i feel so bad, i am seriously looking into the macrolane injections though (injecting fat into breasts) Because no one will love me with the way i look now. I want another baby so much, i want a house and a family life, i want a man who can love and protect me but where am i meant to find one in this village? I hardly ever go out and when i do its with Emma and i look minging!
Emma is all i need for the moment and when i get a job ill be able to treat her, i just hope its sooner rather then later!
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Single parenthood, Wanting the best and THE WALKING STAGE.
Yes thats right my beautiful baby girl is now walking, or as Clarks like to call it, Cruising! I bought her a gorgeous pair of shoes takes ages to get them on but i LOVE them!
Seeing her walk has made me realise even more how fast she is growing up she is now officially a toddler i love the fact she can talk to me, tell me what she wants more shes a lot more fun but a lot more hardwork!
The past few weeks i have being feeling really lonely, I think its because Christmas is looming up on us and seeing all the couples together, also i am VERY broody! Which isnt a good combination. Christmas this year is going to be a struggle, i started buying Emmas Christmas presents late August to spread the cost out i just want her to have everything she should be able to have and living on Income support with no support from a partner is hard! Expecially with Driving lessons, Nappies wipes and all the other baby equipment, doesnt help that shes growing out of 6-9 clothes so ive had to spend a small fortune on new warmer baby clothes. Which is why ive decided to get a part time job which is going to be a mission within itself! As i cant drive yet the buses dont come very often and i live in a tiny village with no shop so im going to have to rely on my parents help!
But as a single parent its up to me to make the best life for my daughter, as hard as it may be to pull myself away from her and vise versa.
Seeing her walk has made me realise even more how fast she is growing up she is now officially a toddler i love the fact she can talk to me, tell me what she wants more shes a lot more fun but a lot more hardwork!
The past few weeks i have being feeling really lonely, I think its because Christmas is looming up on us and seeing all the couples together, also i am VERY broody! Which isnt a good combination. Christmas this year is going to be a struggle, i started buying Emmas Christmas presents late August to spread the cost out i just want her to have everything she should be able to have and living on Income support with no support from a partner is hard! Expecially with Driving lessons, Nappies wipes and all the other baby equipment, doesnt help that shes growing out of 6-9 clothes so ive had to spend a small fortune on new warmer baby clothes. Which is why ive decided to get a part time job which is going to be a mission within itself! As i cant drive yet the buses dont come very often and i live in a tiny village with no shop so im going to have to rely on my parents help!
But as a single parent its up to me to make the best life for my daughter, as hard as it may be to pull myself away from her and vise versa.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Youth funds, Websites, and juggling Emma.
These few weeks have being a real test of my time! With being young leader ive created an online consultation with help of my 'boss' and have been calling round schools to try and get them to get involved!
My website is up and running and im trying to get young mothers to post their stories, although i would prefer video blogs but no one seems to be doing it. I guess it is a bit nerveracking!
So needless to say ive being a very busy mummy and with Emma being at the age she is, shes getitng into everything (the biscuit cupboard been her favourite) Shes saying a lot more words now last night she was on her play phone having a conversation she said 'hiya' 'whos their' 'goodbye' What a clever little miss! The health visitor came and got her weighed she is 20lb now! Still in 6-9 clothes though!
The health visitor has giving me a list of baby groups in my area so im going to go explore next week, I want emma to get more friends shes at the age where she needs to socialise more! My health visitor has also giving me the oppotunity to work (for free) at a baby clinic which im hoping to start soon!
My website is up and running and im trying to get young mothers to post their stories, although i would prefer video blogs but no one seems to be doing it. I guess it is a bit nerveracking!
So needless to say ive being a very busy mummy and with Emma being at the age she is, shes getitng into everything (the biscuit cupboard been her favourite) Shes saying a lot more words now last night she was on her play phone having a conversation she said 'hiya' 'whos their' 'goodbye' What a clever little miss! The health visitor came and got her weighed she is 20lb now! Still in 6-9 clothes though!
The health visitor has giving me a list of baby groups in my area so im going to go explore next week, I want emma to get more friends shes at the age where she needs to socialise more! My health visitor has also giving me the oppotunity to work (for free) at a baby clinic which im hoping to start soon!
Friday, 10 September 2010
My new website
Things are looking up! I have created a website for younger parents http://youngmumssupport.webs.com/
Its only in the early stages but the more people who look and register the better it will get.
Hopefully sometime in the near future ill be able to afford to have the domain in my name and to get the picture of the trees taken off! But it will do for now :)
Its only in the early stages but the more people who look and register the better it will get.
Hopefully sometime in the near future ill be able to afford to have the domain in my name and to get the picture of the trees taken off! But it will do for now :)
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