my babies

my babies
x

Wednesday 25 May 2011

Frequently Asked Questions

I often get asked questions on twitter, facebook, my website, blogger and formspring so ive put a Q&A together.

1. How did you find out you were pregnant:

I knew before i took the test, i felt 'different' womens intuition i reakon! I went to time to talk when i was 5 days late and it came up negative, they said to come back in a week so i came back when i was 10 days late and it was positive.

2. What was it like been pregnant:

I loved it, the first trimester was fine, i was just tired id go to bed at 8pm every single night! I was at college up untill i was 7 months pregnant aswell so thats probably why i was so tired. I was sick every day from 12-38 weeks pregnant that was the worst part and the heart burn hurt so much! I loved my bump and i loved watching her move its so surreal!

3. Is Labour as bad is people say it is:

YES!! I had pre-eclampsia and i was on bedrest for 2 weeks, went to the midwife and because it had gotten worse i was sent straight to hospital, they did a stretch and sweep i was already 2cm dilated, i didnt have any pain relief untill i was 6cm dilated then moved on to gas and air, it was hurrendous the pain was so unbareable. I also had an epistomy because Em's cord was wrapped round her neck. I was lucky as it was on 6 hours.

4. Did you always have Emma picked out:
NOPE! I knew i was going to call my boy either Charlie or Max, but i kept changing my mind every week with a girls name, bonnie, madison, lacey, poppy, scarlett, Lainey, Macey, Lydia, Deliliah. But as soon as she was born she looked so beautiful so precious, and Emma means universe and thats what she is. My universe.

5. How do you cope being a single mum:
You cant miss what you dont have, ive always being used to doing it alone so i havent missed anyone helping me. Its exhausting getting up every single night for the past 22 months but she is so worth it. The only thing i find hard being a single mum is because i have to provide for Em alone, i have to work in order to give her a better life which means i dont get to spend mon-fri with her very much and i miss it.

6. Do you want more kids in the future:
Definatly. Not yet though, i want to settle down and enjoy Emma i want to wait untill im atleast 22 to have another baby. I want a big family lots of kiddies running round under my feet but i need to sort my career out and find a man first. I want to enjoy being young and only having to care for Em.

7.  Do you find it difficult getting into relationships:
VERY VERY VERY DIFFICULT! Not very many men are understanding, not very men want to have another womans child with them. Expecially around my age they want freedom and fun. I want someone who will care for me and Em and give us space to be together and understand that i cant see them as often as id like because ive got to put Emma first, shes my main priority and she always will be and lads find that difficult.

Thursday 5 May 2011

Reality.

I have a new boyfriend :) Aidan, we met at work and we've being together for 3 weeks now. He loves Emma and he loves me, he sees me all the time we can talk on the phone for hours. Theirs just one thing, and its pretty big. Its his insecurity. Im going out tommorow night because its my best friends birthday and all hes talking about is me cheating on him! Constantly, which makes women want to do it more. He told me he will never trust me so whats the point in a relationship!?

The past few weeks i have being thinking alot about Emmas dad, and ive realised that deep down i do still love him. No matter what he did to me or how much he hurt me, he also meant a lot to me he was my first love. So im finally going through the grieving process of loosing my love because ive always being so busy when i was pregnant and being a single mum. Its hard, very very hard because i know hes not good for me or Emma. But i also know if it wasnt for Emma id still be with him and my life would have being in pieces, so in a way having her has saved me! Shes the love of my life and i know i have to put him behind us but im finding it difficult. Expecially when Aidan's being so untrusting towards me.


My job is going great, although the hours are so tiring, i wake up at 5am to catch the bus for 6.30 and i get home at 7pm so its a really long day and i miss Emma like crazy but its going to be worth it. One day im going to be able to afford a house for me and Emma, and buy her all the things she deserves and i cant wait!